The Girl and the Light Box

I was born in Santa María Quiegolani, in Oaxaca’s southern mountains, where the sun measured time and darkness was the queen of the night. Our childhood was lit by the flickering of candles or a ceremonial flame. I grew up thinking this was the only possible universe: a small world, limited by the mountains that surrounded my Mexican village.
But one day, the darkness was shattered. Some youth arrived with a box that projected images onto a white sheet. It was if someone had opened a window to infinity. I saw cities filled with light, boys and girls with curly hair, landscapes that seemed to be impossible. It was a moment that changed me forever; I understood that the world was immense, that there was something beyond our mountains, beyond our silence.
At that time, I knew nothing about the United States, nor about its cities nor its language. I didn’t know that the magic light box was called a projector. Later, as the years went by, I learned that many of the images that had fascinated me came from there, from that country that for my people had become synonymous with a dream, the American dream.
I was not a stranger to this dream, although I never wanted to pursue it for myself. I saw it reflected in the eyes of my fellow countrymen and women who left at dawn with a small backpack and an enormous dream of finding something that their own land had denied them: dignified work, a better life, the possibility of sending money to their families so their children could study or so their houses could stand up to the rains. I grew up hearing these stories of goodbyes and returns, of risk and sacrifice. The United States transformed into a name filled with promise and absence.

When I at long last had the opportunity to visit the United States, I felt a mixture of curiosity and memory. I encountered cities that I had seen as a young girl on that white sheet, but now with my own eyes. I heard a language that was not my own; I tried unknown food; I walked alongside people who had an entirely different lifestyle. And yet, I found something familiar: human warmth. I discovered that, beyond cultural differences, what unites us is the shared necessity of dreaming, of looking for a dignified future.
Today I think of the United States as a country allied with Mexico. A different place, with another history, another language, other customs, but with human beings that seek the same thing I do: dignity, liberty, justice. I don’t romanticize migration—I know the pain of abandoning one’s own land—but I recognize that for many of my people, the United States has been a refuge, an opportunity, a life raft.
At the same time, this relationship with the United States confronts me with uncomfortable questions: Why are we still a country from which millions are obliged to migrate? Why do our boys and girls have to dream of faroff horizons as the only way to lead a different, better life? Every time I hear these stories of migration, I tell myself that the challenge is here, in Mexico, to build a country where staying is also another form of dreaming.
That little girl who once saw the box of light projecting unknown images still lives within me. Whenever I encounter obstacles—those of poverty, machismo, visible and invisible borders—I remember that I learned to believe in other possible universes. I remember that the light never burns out: not the sun, nor the ceremonial flame, nor the light of an improvised projector on a white sheet. There is always a spark that can ignite rebellion and hope.

This was my first intimate revolution: the certainty that no wall was too high to hold back a girl who dares to dream. And perhaps that was the same thread that ties me to the United States: a country that, with all its contradictions, symbolizes for many the possibility of shattering the limits of origin, of class, of language.
Today, when I think of the image of the United States, I don’t just think about New York skyscrapers or California’s endless highways. I think of my fellow countrymen toiling in the fields, of my fellow countrywomen taking care of distant households, of youth crossing deserts with hope and difficulty. I also think of the bridges of solidarity, in which friends and colleagues have opened doors for me, in the academic, cultural and human ties that remind us that no country exists alone.
This is the image I cherish: that of a girl that discovered that there was more of a possible universe. That of a woman who keeps believing the dreams—those of the mountains of Oaxaca, those of Mexico, those of the United States—have the right to come to fruition, without asking for permission, without asking for forgiveness.
For me, the United States is a mirror of dreams and contradictions. A mirror that reflects back questions of who we are as Latin Americans and about what we still have to achieve in our own lands. A mirror, that in spite of everything, keeps reminding me of that first night in which the darkness of my village brightened and I discovered that that the world was larger than the mountains of my childhood.
La niña y la caja de luz
Por Eufrosina Cruz

Yo nací en Santa María Quiegolani, en la sierra sur de Oaxaca, donde el sol marcaba la hora y la oscuridad era la dueña de las noches. Nuestra infancia estaba iluminada apenas por el titilar de las velas o la flama de un ocote. Crecí pensando que ese era el único universo posible: un mundo pequeño, limitado por las montañas que rodeaban mi pueblo mexicano.
Pero un día la oscuridad se rompió. Llegaron unos jóvenes con una caja de luz que arrojaba imágenes en una sábana blanca. Era como si alguien hubiera abierto una ventana al infinito. Vi ciudades llenas de luces, niñas y niños de cabellos rizados, paisajes que parecían imposibles. Ese instante me cambió para siempre: entendí que el mundo era inmenso, que había algo más allá de nuestras montañas, más allá de nuestro silencio.
En ese momento no sabía de Estados Unidos, ni de sus ciudades, ni de su idioma. No sabía que esa caja mágica se llamaba proyector. Más tarde, con los años, supe que muchas de las imágenes que me dejaron deslumbrada venían de allá, de ese país que para mi gente se volvió sinónimo de un sueño: el sueño americano.
Ese sueño no me era ajeno, aunque nunca lo busqué para mí. Lo veía en los ojos de mis paisanas y paisanos que partían de madrugada con una mochila pequeña y la esperanza enorme de encontrar lo que su propia tierra les negaba: un trabajo digno, una vida mejor, la posibilidad de mandar dinero a sus familias para que los hijos pudieran estudiar o las casas pudieran resistir la lluvia. Crecí escuchando esas historias de despedida y regreso, de riesgo y sacrificio. Estados Unidos se convirtió en una palabra cargada de promesa y de ausencia.

Cuando por fin tuve la oportunidad de viajar a ese país, llegué con una mezcla de curiosidad y de memoria. Encontré ciudades que ya había visto de niña en aquella sábana blanca, pero ahora con mis propios ojos. Escuché un idioma que no era el mío, probé comidas desconocidas, caminé entre personas que llevaban otros modos de vida. Y, sin embargo, también encontré algo familiar: la calidez humana. Descubrí que, más allá de las diferencias culturales, lo que nos une es la necesidad compartida de soñar, de buscar un futuro digno.
Hoy pienso en Estados Unidos como un país aliado de México. Un lugar distinto, con otra historia, otro idioma, otras costumbres, pero con seres humanos que buscan lo mismo que yo: dignidad, libertad, justicia. No romantizo la migración —sé el dolor que implica abandonar la tierra propia—, pero reconozco que para muchos de los míos Estados Unidos ha sido refugio, oportunidad, tabla de salvación.
Al mismo tiempo, esa relación con Estados Unidos me confronta con preguntas incómodas: ¿por qué seguimos siendo un país donde millones se ven obligados a migrar? ¿Por qué nuestros niños y niñas deben soñar con horizontes lejanos para creer que la vida puede ser distinta? Cada vez que escucho esas historias me digo que nuestro verdadero reto está aquí, en México: construir un país donde quedarse también sea una forma de soñar.
Esa niña que alguna vez vio una caja de luz proyectar imágenes desconocidas sigue viviendo en mí. Cada vez que me enfrento a un muro —los de la pobreza, los del machismo, los de las fronteras visibles e invisibles— recuerdo que aprendí a creer en otros universos posibles. Recuerdo que la luz nunca se agota: ni la del sol, ni la de un ocote, ni la de un proyector improvisado en una pared blanca. Siempre hay otra chispa que puede encender la rebeldía y la esperanza.

Esa fue mi primera revolución íntima: la certeza de que ningún muro es lo suficientemente alto para detener a una niña que se atreve a soñar. Y quizás ese sea también el hilo que me une con Estados Unidos: un país que, con todas sus contradicciones, simboliza para muchos la posibilidad de derribar los límites de origen, de clase, de lengua.
Hoy, cuando pienso en la imagen de Estados Unidos, no pienso sólo en los rascacielos de Nueva York o en las carreteras interminables de California. Pienso en mis paisanos trabajando en los campos, en mis paisanas cuidando hogares lejanos, en los jóvenes que cruzan desiertos con la esperanza a cuestas. Pienso también en los puentes de solidaridad, en los amigos y colegas que me han abierto puertas, en los lazos académicos, culturales y humanos que nos recuerdan que ningún país existe en soledad.
Esa es la imagen que guardo: la de una niña que descubrió que había más de un universo posible. La de una mujer que sigue creyendo que los sueños —los de la sierra de Oaxaca, los de México, los de América Latina— tienen derecho a encender su propia luz, sin pedir permiso, sin pedir perdón.
Para mí, Estados Unidos es un espejo de sueños y contradicciones. Un espejo que nos devuelve preguntas sobre lo que somos como latinoamericanos y sobre lo que todavía debemos conquistar en nuestras propias tierras. Un espejo que, a pesar de todo, me sigue recordando aquella primera noche en que la oscuridad de mi pueblo se abrió y descubrí que el mundo era más grande que las montañas de mi infancia.
Eufrosina Cruz Mendoza is a Zapotec activist for gender equality and the rights of Indigenous communities. The first Indigenous woman in Oaxacan politics, she became a deputy of the National Action Party (PAN) in 2010.
Eufrosina Cruz es una política indígena zapoteca mexicana. Es activista por la igualdad de género de las comunidades.La primera mujer indígena en la política oaxaqueña, logró ser elegida diputada del Partido Acción Nacional (PAN) en 2010.
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