The Path to Peace is Paved with Dignity

“Dignity is something all human beings come into the world with: inherent value and worth….” Photos by Ellen Calmus, The Corner Institute, Malinalco, Mexico

I’ve spent three decades as an international conflict resolution specialist and have worked on unofficial diplomatic efforts in Colombia, Cuba, the Middle East, Sri Lanka, Libya, Syria and Northern Ireland, among others. By working with parties on both sides of some of the most entrenched, centuries-old conflicts, I know first-hand the intricacies of peacebuilding. What I’ve learned is that peace starts and ends with one essential element: dignity. I discovered that if indignity tears us apart, dignity can put us back together again.  What does peacebuilding with dignity look like? What does it feel like? What does it take to integrate it into efforts to negotiate an end to these conflicts and to put the past to rest?

After researching the topic for nearly a decade, the first thing I’d like to make clear is my definition.  Dignity isn’t just about being nice, and it is not the same as “respect.” Dignity is something all human beings come into the world with: inherent value and worth, as well as inherent vulnerability to having our dignity injured and violated.   Respect, on the other hand, must be earned.  We don’t have to do anything to have dignity.  It is an essential and universal aspect of our shared humanity. But there is a catch:  We may all be born with dignity, but we are not born knowing how to act like it. In fact, what does come naturally is knowing how to denigrate and harm someone’s dignity. The felt experience of a violation can trigger an instinctive reaction to return the harm.  We often “take the bait” and have a deep desire to lash back and get even, seek revenge when someone is treating us badly.

Violations to our dignity have real consequences. Research shows that when people experience violations to their dignity, they activate the same area of the brain as a physical injury. Physical pain and emotional pain share a common neural pathway, and the brain doesn’t know the difference between a wound to our physical selves and a wound to our dignity.  The brain will process the trauma of being treated as “less than,” humiliated, stereotyped or marginalized the same as it would react to a physical injury.

This is not a promising finding for the mental and emotional well-being of people experiencing violent conflict.  It is commonplace to see parties in conflict suffering multiple assaults to their dignity. The sad part is that before I started researching the effect these unaddressed violations had on the parties’ ability to sign on to an agreement that could end the conflict, the topic of dignity is never brought up for discussion at the negotiating table.

This “human dimension” of conflict showed up everywhere I was asked to facilitate dialogue in all parts of the world.  What I came to realize was that assaults to dignity were a missing link in my understanding of conflict.  It soon became obvious that unaddressed violations to the parties’ dignity were making it impossible to sign on to an agreement.  People have a hard time letting go of being treated as if they didn’t matter.  I had to figure out how to bring this human dimension to the table for discussion before trying to negotiate the the political aspects of issues that divided them.  I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

The dignity issues would show up at the table in the form of a strong emotional response to something that was said.  The anger and resentment (both classic responses to a dignity violation) would derail the conversation and it was difficult getting productive discussion back on track.  One time I asked a person who had a strong emotional reaction to tell us what just happened to him.  I said, “I can see you had a very deep emotional response to what was said by the other side.  Would you please tell us what you were experiencing.”  The participant quickly responded to me in very harsh terms that what was happening to him wasn’t emotional.  It was about injustice!  I quickly retreated and we moved on.  I realized that the triggering language of emotions and trauma wasn’t going to work.

It wasn’t until I used the language of dignity to describe a similar reaction at a different negotiating table that I finally got the response I was looking for.  The participant strongly agreed with me that he was experiencing an assault to his dignity and that he would be very happy to discuss it.  Bingo! I finally found the right language!  The language of dignity.  As a result, I realized I had to develop a process that enabled the parties to open up about their deep suffering from wounds to their dignity.  Now I had to get to work and put together a practical approach to address this universal human desire to be treated with dignity.

My goal was to develop a language that would make sense to people trying to address these dignity violations.  After hundreds of interviews with people all over the world, I came up with what I call the Ten Essential Elements of Dignity.  When parties to conflict can sit together and discuss their dignity narratives, it can begin to restore the empathy and humanity that is always the first thing to go when we engage in conflict. Giving the parties a way to describe this human suffering helps everyone see that these unacknowledged assaults to dignity must be addressed if there were to be a lasting end to the conflict.  Below are the Ten Elements of Dignity:

• Acceptance of Identity—Approach people as neither inferior nor superior to you; give others the freedom to express their authentic selves without fear of being negatively judged; interact without prejudice or bias, accepting how characteristics like race, religion, gender, class, sexual orientation, age and disability are at the core of their identities. Assume they have integrity.
• Recognition—Validate others for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness and help; be generous with praise; give credit to others for their contributions, ideas and experience
• Acknowledgment—Give people your full attention by listening, hearing, validating and responding to their concerns and what they have been through
• Inclusion—Make others feel that they belong at all levels of relationship (family, community, organization, nation)
• Safety—Put people at ease at two levels: physically, where they feel free of bodily harm; and psychologically, where they feel free of concern about being shamed or humiliated, that they feel free to speak without fear of retribution
• Fairness—Treat people justly, with equality, and in an evenhanded way, according to agreed-upon laws and rules
• Independence—Empower people to act on their own behalf so that they feel in control of their lives and experience a sense of hope and possibility
• Understanding—Believe that what others think matters; give them the chance to explain their perspectives, express their points of view; actively listen in order to understand them
• Benefit of the Doubt—Treat people as trustworthy; start with the premise that others have good motives and are acting with integrity.
• Accountability—Take responsibility for your actions; if you have violated the dignity of another, apologize; make a commitment to change hurtful behaviors

It goes without saying that parties engaged in violent conflict feel that all of these elements of dignity are violated.  Creating the conditions that promote peace by treating each other with dignity will take a commitment to changing the way we relate to one another. Below are a few examples of how to put the ten elements of dignity into a peacebuilding process.

One of the key elements relevant to bridging differences is to seek deeper understanding. Instead of dismissing and degrading those who do not agree with us, we can develop a curiosity about what is behind the opposing belief or opinion, something sociologist Arlie Hochschild refers to as discovering the other’s “deep story.” Try to find out what is behind their opposing viewpoints.  When they tell you their story, do not challenge them or try to disprove their reasoning.  Listen to understand.  Speak to be understood.  Are there dignity violations that they themselves have suffered embedded in what they tell you?

Another Essential Element is to give people the benefit of the doubt.  Assume they have a reason for why they feel the way they do.  We so often rush to judgment about others and often stereotype them with little to no information.  Without an effort to create safe space to have a conversation, space that is filled with genuine interest rather than judgment, we might be tempted to assume others with opposing views are simply wrong.

A third Essential Element is communicating to others that you are neither inferior nor superior to them, and that you see them as equal in dignity, no matter their race, religion, gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, political affiliation or disability. Accepting their identity does not mean you have to be friends.  It means you are recognizing and acknowledging their worth as a human being.  Discrimination and negative judgment are toxic to dignity.

A powerful element of dignity is acknowledgment.  I had the good fortune of working with Archbishop Desmond Tutu for nearly a decade.  In one conversation with him, I said, “Archbishop, you are considered the champion of reconciliation.  Tell me, what do you think it takes for people to let go of anger and resentment and put the conflict and past to rest?”  He looked at me and paused.  He then said, “Donna, when people have been roughed up, they need acknowledgment of the suffering they have endured.”  As we all know, that is what he did in South Africa with the truth and reconciliation commission.  He gave victims the opportunity to have their suffering acknowledged.

Often, multiple elements of dignity would be involved.  When I was conducting dialogues between Cuban Americans from the Miami area and Cubans from Havana, I clearly remember how upset the Cubans from Miami were when their Havana counterparts accused them of “abandoning” their Cuban identity.  They would say, “You’re no longer Cuban, you are American now.  That opened the door for the Havana Cubans to express their outrage toward the Miami Cubans for how they felt “looked down upon” by them.  They were proud of their Cuban identity and wanted acknowledgment for being treated as inferior by their Miami Cubans.  Both were demanding recognition from each other, and it was difficult to say the least.  After months of dialogues, they were finally able to give the recognition to each other regarding their identity as Cubans.

These are just a few examples to demonstrate what it looks like to create the conditions for honoring dignity on an individual, person-to-person basis, but we also need to be sure that the systemic indignities that prevent peace are addressed as well.  Peace will not survive the inequities that have plagued the world for centuries.  Dismantling the structures and policies that advantage one group over another must be an essential focus of our efforts for peace. We need to bury racism, sexism and the privileging of one group over others, holding accountable those who aim to further their agendas of inequity.  We cannot ask those who are systemically oppressed, marginalized, and harmed to do the emotional labor of restoring peace without a united effort to dismantle systems of oppression and inequity.

My dear friend Archbishop Desmond Tutu left me with so much of his wisdom.  He told me there can be no peace without dignity.  Nor can democracies survive without dignity.  We are fragile beings and there is nothing more fragile than human dignity. We must protect it and nurture it in ourselves and all our relationships, but especially those burdened by conflict.  He told me that if people are suffering indignities and have no means to have their suffering acknowledged and responded to, it’s a fast track to riots, wars and revolutions.  The peace builders of the world can offer the understanding of this human dimension of conflict.  Helping warring parties develop dignity consciousness might just be the path to peace that we are all so desperately seeking.

Donna Hicks is an Associate at the Weatherhead Center for International Affairs, Harvard University. She is the author of Dignity:  Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict (2011) and Leading with Dignity:  How to Create a Culture That Brings Out the Best in People (2018), both published by Yale University Press. She previously served Deputy Director of the Program on International Conflict Analysis and Resolution (PICAR) at the Weatherhead Center. Hicks received her Ph.D. in Human Development from the University of Wisconsin Madison.